Okay.

I didn't forget. I'll never forget.

I remember that day as if it were yesterday. Cliche, I know, but true.

High noon. Bright skies. Blue waters. Burning skin. L'oreal dry oil to tan.

Most memorable, most remarkable, BEST friendship to date.

Again, I say, I screwed up.

I'm just saying I'll never forget. I miss you. And I think of you a lot.

I need you. Your sanity, your wisdom, your craziness.

I love you. I always will. I'm sorry I screwed up.

I'll be cheering for you. In my heart. Wishing I could watch you. Give you flowers myself.

You'll rock, I'm sure of it. You always do.

I miss you, Buks. It may not seem like it, and I'm sure there's every argument to that statement, but just to let you know that I really miss being with you, spending time with you.

Sana, balang araw. Ewan. My words are all jumbled up. Ewan.

Miss kita.

Blah.

This blog is turning into a sob story. I hate to think that my perspective has been completely clouded with grey.

With that, I bit you adieu.

(That's rat's ass, fo sho, as I'm to come back and we all know it. Well, I know it. Boo ya.)

Listening to Alanis and thinking of you, wondering what songs you're singing these days.

I miss you, I miss your company, I miss being stupid with you. To fulfill my need would be selfish, even more than I've already been.

So I guess, I'll just listen the void away. Not like it'll ever get filled.

BFTTE. I've messed up a thousand times. It would be lavish to do so but I can't stop myself from hoping that one day, somehow, by grace, we'll be okay.

Okay, I'm officially bored.

See, the thing is -- when you choose something, it also automatically means you unchoose the rest.

Rules of fair play. Logic, straight out. It's a matter of fact that needs not be said but still, I think it -- unchoosing the rest -- is an overlooked consequence of the choices we make.

I don't know. Something in me is not convinced.


---

Validation should never be at the expense of someone else's fall.

---

As with most things, patience has its limits.

And this Sunday turns out to be a good one.

Thank You.

Skwater.

Ang daming feelings. Bwiset.

BLEEEECH.

I've sincerely forgotten how this all goes. Maybe it's a good thing. But right now, I just feel like heaving.

K.

I think you're an ass.

I'll brush you off, cos I have other things going for me. Better things, malamang. Than bearing with your lack of certainty and irresolution. Don't drag me into this. If you don't respect my worth, well, I do. What you do with your life, sa'yo na yun. But I have to say I did care, do care, and can' take it out of me to want the best for you. For humanity in general.

I may seem like everything's just a sweet rainbow sandwiched in sarcasm and random jokes, but yes, I think. A lot. If you can't deal with the fact that I have a whole lot of thoughts and takes on things, malas. Go find someone else who can feed you shallow conversations day in and out. My thoughts lead me to concluding that a lot of times, it's okay to cut ties. At least I can say that in the beginning, and perhaps throughout, I tried. Gave what I could. Your idiotic ways, I have no control over.

See ya. Whatever your ego gets from this shit, congrats. May you relish it till the end of your days. I'd like to say fuck you, but then again, I wouldn't mean that.

Sana, umayos ka. Sayang.

I don't know. I'm not sure. I don't know.